Poste aqui ' Piadas ' engraçadas. :xD:

Sem conteúdo pornográfico.

Mataram o Justin Bieber

Um rapaz está a chorar enquanto vê TV..
Mãe: Entãooo? Que se passa?
Rapaz: Mataram o Justin Bieber no CSI !!!
Mãe: Ohhh... querido, não é a sério! Ele ainda está vivo...
Rapaz: É por isso que estou a chorar


Segundas Intenções

João e Maria estavam em um quarto brincando até que
de repente faltou luz, e Maria disse:
- João, põe o dedo no meu umbigo?
- João este não é o meu umbigo.
- E quem disse que esse é o meu dedo?

Achando a faca

Dois amigos estavam conversando:

- Rapaz ontem fui procurar a minha faca e quando achei estava enfiada na barriga da minha sogra!

-Caramba não acredito!Disse o amigo.

-Quem não acredita sou eu, foi a primeira vez que eu consegui achar algo no lugar onde deixei!

Era o início da década de 60, do século passado, quando se deu este interessante episódio :

O Presidente do Santos marca uma reunião com Deus.

Chegando lá, ele pergunta:
- Senhor Deus, eu gostaria de saber se o Santos será Campeão da Libertadores ?
Deus consulta seu livro – flap, flap, flap (páginas do livro de Deus)- e diz:
- Sim, o Santos será Campeão da Libertadores, ainda na sua gestão. E duas vezes…




O Presidente do Palmeiras também marca uma reunião com Deus.

- Senhor Deus, e o Verdão, será Campeão da Libertadores ?
Deus consulta seu livro – flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap – e diz:
- Será sim, o Palmeiras será Campeão da Libertadores, mas não na sua gestão, nem na do próximo presidente…




O Presidente do São Paulo, curioso, também marca uma reunião com Deus:

- Senhor Deus, e o São Paulo, será Campeão da Libertadores ?
Deus consulta seu livro – flap, – e diz:
- Que rápido, será sim, o São Paulo será Campeão da Libertadores várias vezes, mas não na sua gestão.






O Presidente do Flamengo também marca uma reunião com Deus.

- Senhor Deus, e o Flamengo, será Campeão da Libertadores ?
Deus consulta seu livro – flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap – e diz:
- Será sim, o Flamengo será Campeão da Libertadores, mas não na sua gestão, nem na do próximo presidente.




O Presidente do Corinthians também marca a tal reunião com Deus.


- E o Coringão, será Campeão da Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro e …. – flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, e Deus pensa:
‘eita que não acaba…’

e tome flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, e
Deus disse:


- ACHEI! Ah não, é engano.
- e continua… flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, , flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap


- Achei !!! – grita Deus – Está aqui. É em 2210.


- Não, não.. Desculpe-me. Aqui é o corinthians de alagoas que conquista a libertadores.
- e prosseguiu … flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap?.

São Jorge que acompanhava de perto, já extremamente irritado, pegou o livro das mãos do todo poderoso e continuou:

… flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, , flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap…

E Deus retomou a procura…

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, , flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap


- Não achei. Peraí que vou consultar em outros Planetas – e tome-lhe flaps…

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

O presidente do corinthians, empolgado e incentivando Deus, comenta:
NÃO PÁRA! NÃO PÁRA! NÃO PÁRA! …

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
fl

E Deus finaliza… - Será sim, o Corinthians será Campeão da Libertadores…
mas não na MINHA gestão !!!